My husband and I got married last April and as part of our religious duties, we had to complete a counseling session with an Imam at a local mosque. Not knowing what to expect, we went into the session feeling nervous but curious.
He began by telling us about the role of a man and a woman in Islam, and our family as a whole. He then drew a pyramid-like diagram of three key components to make a marriage work. At the top of the pyramid was the word “Peace” meaning that peace is the most important part of any successful marriage. The word peace in this case can mean many things, peace in the house, peace in the heart of each individual, and peace in a marriage overall. I think this part we take most seriously because it is peace that makes us appreciate each day spend together, and by keeping the house peaceful we learn to love each other more and keep a calm, friendly environment in our home. We agreed to leave our work troubles at work and the moment one of us walks into the house, it is all about us and not work. Bringing work issues home can be damaging to the peace in our home and our marriage as well, as work issues usually bring stress. In addition, the outside world can create a great deal of chaos, so coming home to a peaceful environment is something we treasure dearly.
Next key component which the Imam wrote on the bottom right corner was the word “Mercy.” Here, mercy means being kind to one another, forgiving, being accepting and understanding of each otter’s feelings and flaws. Mercy is about forgiving and not holding grudges against one another for any reason. This is just as important as peace because often couples tend to get angry and stay angry at their partner for long periods of time without talking things out. This, in my opinion, is not healthy and it is no way to live a life. Husband and wife should be forgiving and understanding, and communication is key to making things work. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect.
Finally, the last component which was written at the bottom left of the pyramid was the word “Love.” You might wonder why love is the last component and the least important one. This is because a house without peace and mercy cannot survive. No matter how strong the love is, chaos and mistreatment will eventually break down every inch of love you may have for one another. Love is like icing on the cake in this case. You have the peace in the house, mercy between the spouses, and love to make it all dreamy and exciting. Sometimes it takes more than just love to make a marriage work. We practice these three components religiously and I recommend you to try this out in your marriage as well.
Things I am thankful for: our marriage counseling session with the Imam.