What Vows?

This post will probably raise some eyebrows and some will disagree with my opinion, but if you pay close attention to this topic, you will soon see how it is becoming more and more obvious in our society. This is a reminder to myself first and everyone who reads the blog, a reminder to truly uphold our marriage vows as we are meant to, and take the words that we say seriously, instead of just making a necessary statement as culture and tradition requires us to. Of course, there are plenty of people who take vows very seriously and live happily ever after, but those kinds of people are rare to find today. I think you would agree once you deeply think about this topic which I will discuss below. 

As we know when people get married, they say marriage vows such as “Until death do us part,” “For better or for worse,” “For poorer or for richer,” etc. But, to what extent do people actually follow these vows in today’s society? Is it really for richer or poorer? For better or for worse? I see an alarming rate of divorces around the world for unjustifiable reasons. For example, think of a time where you knew someone who got divorced because the significant other is going through major financial problems or  who is dealing with emotional issues. Can you think of one person who divorced under such conditions? I certainly can. Even worse, people kill their whole families when they go broke, as it happened in the past during deep recession times. Yes, they were obviously also dealing with some mental issues/depression/anxiety, but isn’t that all part of our vows? To be the best that you can be to your partner? So, why not get help before it is too late (in these sort of situations especially). That being said, the whole “for richer or for poorer” vow goes right out of the window. Financial issues are inevitable in most marriages these days, with the economy the way that it is-unstable in so many countries. You should expect to struggle from time to time but that is no reason for divorce. I see many women (and men) get divorced because their significant other cannot uphold the same kind of lifestyle that the other person is used to or was expecting to receive for eternity. Some people also leave their spouses because they are not made to handle stressful or scary life situation, such as serious illnesses or something similar. Again, what happened to those vows? Out of the window they go.

Husband and wives are replaceable these days and people are ready to jump on a better opportunity (by opportunity I mean someone younger, richer, and more fun) if it ever arises. You don’t think that is true? How about a man who leaves his wife on Christmas day after 20 years of marriage? Yes, that is an actual event that occurred to a friend.  To make matter worse, he left her for a younger woman. Of course. Or a man who leaves his wife because she cannot conceive children (which she obviously didn’t know until they tried to conceive). I have tons of similar examples but I think you get my point here. Where is the respect of the time spent together? What happened to the marriage vows? Where is the dignity after all of these years of marriage? If you think such divorces are rare occasions, you are wrong. Unfortunately, things like this happen all the time, we just might not hear about them.

People change as they age, so it is inevitable that you will fall in and out of love with your partner, but that is no reason for divorce. This is why it is important to grow together, and not apart. It is essential to spend quality time with one another to catch up on each other’s lives and share memories. It is vital to celebrate your marriage as often as possible by taking a getaway trip or visiting a place that has some significance in your marriage.
Unfortunately, many people divorce because they don’t feel in love anymore with their spouse. Do they think this will somehow change with their next partner? Probably not. After a while, you will get the same feeling about the new partner as well, because it is simply human nature to want something new and exciting, to fall in and out of love, and to want what we can’t have. If you don’t believe me, then ask the many men and women who got married for the second or third times, I am sure they will share their wisdom with you. (For sure, there are cases where people get married second or third time and it is better than the first, but only if they get divorced and married again for the right reasons; there are definitely exceptions don’t get me wrong). 

People divorce over minor arguments these days, as if they were just looking for a way out. Sure, there are legitimate reasons for divorce, but most often than not people get divorced over things that our ancestors would probably laugh at or slap us for even thinking about divorcing over such silly things.  People are selfish by nature, and this has been proved by many studies and psychologists over the years. However, it does not give an excuse to act the way that we do. To hurt people who gave their lives to be with you, to leave your spouse when they need you most (in a case of an illness or financial collapse, etc), or to leave just because you are going through a mid life crisis (this goes both for men and women) and you simply found a new way to entertain yourself with a younger partner. Respect the vows that you take or don’t take them at all. Respect yourself and your partner! Cherish your marriage, because life is too short for failed marriages and broken families. Let’s all remind ourselves why we married our partners and strive to uphold our vows for the rest of our lives. “For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

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