To be a Woman

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” Mohadesa Najumi

Women are in constant struggle of playing many hats at the same time. From a young age, a woman is asked to play a role of a nurturer and a lover, a driven person who is supposed to hold the family together, a center piece of the marriage where she must always be at her best in every aspect (because otherwise, there will be another woman to take her place), a woman who can hold her own, yet be flexible enough to let the man run the house, to be successful, while being the rock of the family, to age gracefully while fulfilling all the duties of a woman, to have children while maintaining a strong bond with her partner, she is encouraged to reach the top while still keeping her standards low enough for men to have a chance with her, she is taught to know her value, yet not be too picky with choosing a life partner, and the list goes on. Sounds like I am describing a super human, right? Well, I am because only a super human can do all of these things and still maintain sanity and peace of mind, while holding a perfect smile on her face. However, often this is what being a woman is like. Women are powerful, yet many do not recognize that. Women can do anything, yet many are held back due to lack of confidence or lack of support. Women can achieve anything, yet many are chained by the society’s expectations of what a woman should be or how she should act or who she should marry.

This is especially noticeable in patriarchal societies that I have lived in, such as Russia and the UAE. From my experiences (coming from Russia and being raised in such a society and then moving to the UAE and interacting with women here, I am speaking purely from my opinion and I do apologize if this might offend anyone), women are encouraged to pursue education and even post graduate degrees and work experiences, but once married, they are also asked to stay home and take a role of a housewife or they are discouraged from taking certain jobs, for example in banks and corporate offices, because those are not appropriate jobs for a woman. Yes, there has been progress in both countries, but it seems that it is just more hidden from the public eye and behind closed doors; there are still many cases of women who stay home because that is what a woman should do, according to culture and tradition. On the other hand, those who are brave enough to branch out and pursue their goals are often not the women who men choose to marry. Why? Because frankly she is too independent and many men don’t need that, they need to be able to be the man and they want to have a certain level of control over the woman. They fail to recognize and appreciate the value of an independent, strong woman, and undermine her ability to be who she is while letting him be who he is. Often times, men are threatened by a title or they wonder why a woman who is successful and beautiful is still single, which pushes them away from her. Thus, women are left with a dilemma: to be the woman she believe she should be or to be the creation of society’s rules and expectations.

I realize this topic has so many sub-topics and it would probably be best in a book; however, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you on this topic. I also came across a related article about being an independent woman and you can read it here:

What I want women to take away from this post is the fact that you are powerful and you do have a choice, and you can achieve anything. After all, you are superhuman!


2 thoughts on “To be a Woman

  1. I didn’t even know you had anything to do with Russia. It’s a pleasant surprise for me. I live in Russia, and it seems to me that modern men are happy to have a wife or a girlfriend who has work and more than that who is successful at what she does. Due to not so stable economic situation in Russia (and the rest of the world) both a man and a woman have to contribute to their family well-being and prosperity. You know, my friends and friends of my friends who have a good education and a well-paid job are much more succesfull in their personal life. Their husbands support them in any endeavor. But of course, it’s just my story and my interpretation ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am from Russia, I grew up there and then moved to the USA when I was younger. ๐Ÿ™‚ great to be in touch. I do agree that perhaps now more than ever things are approving in both Russia and UAE for women because of the economic situations but in situations where men have money, then tend to want their women to stay home or not work certain jobs. Even though I grew up in St. Petersburg, my family comes from Dagestan/Caucasus area, where culture plays a huge role and women have less rights than in other parts of Russia. But, of course this is not everyone and perhaps I should have been more specific in my post. I realize this post has so many topics within it but i wanted to keep it short and to the point in this case. However, I agree with you on your point. And it really is a matter of personal experiences.

      Liked by 2 people

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